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Searching for Love

Remember your first boyfriend? Not just the boy who chased you around the playground and your mom who constantly reminded you that he’s not your boyfriend, he’s just a friend of yours that happens to be a boy. Because what 8-year-old could have a real boyfriend, right?

No, I’m talking about your first real boyfriend, maybe it was high school, maybe it was college, regardless, close your eyes and soak in those memories for just a minute… the butterflies, the nerves you got when he first held your hand, or how your lips felt numb as you waited for him to first kiss you. Do you remember? All those feels and flutters mustered together could make us queasy all over again. Or not, depending on how who your first real relationship was with, maybe the bad outweighed the good, which is why you didn’t end up with him the first place. I’m just talking about the good times though, all those “firsts” of dating and being in a relationship. Those good memories that made it all worth it. When dating just to date was easy, it was fun, there wasn’t much stress or pressure on the relationship, because you were young. It was okay to take things slow and get to know one another.

Now let’s shift gears, dating in our 20’s. Sure in those first few years dating to date still works. You have a lot of figuring out to do with yourself and deciding your “type”. It all starts with what do you find attractive? Short guys or tall guys or do you like brunettes or blondes? Then you get a little deeper into their characteristics, they must like dogs, are they smart, are they funny, etc. Then we start taking things a step further like are they a Christian or Catholic, what are their beliefs, which way does their moral compass point, do they want to get married, are the open to having children? Scary how our concerns can change so quickly. We go from wanting to make sure they like butter on their popcorn to what if they only want one kid and I want three, can we compromise?

At what point does it all start to be “a little more serious” the relationships you are in are no long “puppy love” or “just seeing what you like” they are real. They have the potential to be lasting, like as in a marriage, kids, and growing old together. 20 seems too young to possibly be ready for that move, but some are! People like to say “when you know you know right?” I am here to tell you, I was not a “when you know you know” person. I was the opposite, I questioned everything. I had the cute puppy dog love high school relationship. Then I had the few in between flings of testing my taste, who am I, what do I want, what do I like. I could have done without a few of those flings, however, it brought me to my husband. And during our 4-year dating relationship I questioned so many parts of it before I came to the conclusion, please be mine forever. I was scared, I often thought I was too young to know. I married at 25 by the way, and began dating my husband at 21 (during those on again off again moments) it scared the pants off me that he could be the one. So I often ran away, did something to piss him off so he would run away. Doesn’t make much sense to fight “true love” right? But that was the immaturity in me. It took me longer than others to get to the point that I was ready for my ever after, but I got there. I am beyond blessed to have a man that stayed by my side during my 20 questions. I guess you could say he was more mature than me during this time because he knew he loved me and I was the one he wanted to be with. It amazes me that in our 20’s we can make these life-changing decisions like marriage. In just a few short years you can meet a guy in your 20’s and also marry him also in your 20’s. What a decade!

Happy Valentines Day Love Birds!

Episode 18: Keeping Strong with Dora Wiersma

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It was the best of times and the scariest of times… I’m telling you, Dora’s story of faith and focusing on the future is one of the hardest things I have heard. From learning they are expecting there first child to her husband discovering his cancer; emotions were everywhere. Dora shares about her husbands fight through cancer, as well as herself fighting to stay strong through the most trying time in her life. All the while, she prepares herself for motherhood, in the little spare time she had. I am absolutely blown away by her strength and honesty. I am so thankful she was willing to share it with you, hope you all find encouragement and strength from it yourselves!

 

Episode 17: Reaching Dreams and Setting Goals with Trent Speaks Podcast

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Enjoyed catching up and collaborating with Trent from the Trent Speaks podcast. Listen as we both open up about our dreams and reason behind starting a podcast. Trent has been in the podcasting world for over a year now. He set the path for me and helped get me started. Having goals and dreams are great things to aspire to, but just like all things in life, they come with challenges. Today we share some of our biggest hurdles with reaching our end goals and continuing our podcasts. Hope you all enjoy! You can find Trent Speaks on Instagram, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts as well.

Episode 16: Summer Update

Hey Friends! Wanted to give a quick summer update, we’ve been so busy this summer just trying to soak up every minute we can. We’ve had lots to celebrate with birthdays, baby showers, new babies, and weddings, we even had to say some hard goodbyes. Life seems to be moving so quickly these days, it’s so nice to have a day to slow down and just relax. My biggest hope for you all this summer is you are taking in every bit of sunshine and joy this season can bring and do your best to engage in every day to the fullest! Two things I forgot to include in today’s episode were follow-ups on my friends Emily Sexton and Leann Podskalan who both got the jobs they were waiting for! So proud of these girls and looking forward to seeing them embark on their careers!

Episode 15: Life is Never How You Plan it with Leann Podskalan

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I think there are many of us who in our young naive years had expected we would grow up, get our dream jobs, marry the person of our dreams, and start having babies. All of course by the age of 22 or so. Much like myself, Leann had expected life to go in the direction she had planned. Unfortunately, that’s not realistic, and Leann learned quickly that life isn’t always perfect or fair. From her career changes and adjustments that ultimately brought her to and through nursing school to living in a different state than her husband. It’s clear to say she’s learned how to alter plans and keep moving forward. Listen as she shares her journey through different jobs, nursing school, and as she opens up about the challenges of living in a different state than her husband. How they made it through that challenging time.  Leann is a joy to be around and I am blessed to have a friend like her. Hope you all enjoy!

Episode 14: Sororities, Law School, & the Feeling of “Always a Bridesmaid” with Emily Sexton

sexton.jpgEmily Sexton is one of the biggest “go-getters” I know. Her determination and hard work got her through the University of Michigan, where she mastered being the president of her sorority and making long lasting friendship, to pushing outside her comfort zone and moving to Florida by herself. She always knew she would make her way back to school after her undergrad, which is where she began the long road of law school after another move. It wasn’t easy and through the stress, she watched as many of her friends got engaged and married and some even starting families. That feeling of being “behind” is hard to ignore, but ultimately she took the path that was right for her. Now it’s time for the Bar exam and time to plan her own wedding. We all need to send her good vides over the next couple of weeks! Hope you all enjoy today’s episode.